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Attack Highlights Need for Increased Food Control
May 26, 2008 | Tagged alternative weapons, food attack, futility of gun control | Leave a Comment
I just hate to have to do this. Maybe I won’t do it. No. The compulsion is too strong, even though bloggers and pundits all over America must be jumping on this story, I just have to weigh in. I swear. You couldn’t make this up.
When Moon Pies are outlawed, only outlaws will have moon pies. An assailant in Galesburg, Illinois apparently attacked a mature citizen on 05-23-08 with a plastic bag containing Moon Pies. When will it end? How many laws do we have to pass condemning violence with food items? Maybe if we eliminated all food packaging and only allowed commoners to eat semi-liquid baby food from plastic bags… No, wait! Some evil-minded villain would freeze the bag, creating a deadly club made of ice. Maybe if we took away all the freezers from ordinary citizens… Yeah! That’s it. Then they couldn’t hurt each other or any members of the ruling elite. Nah! They could still throw rocks or pick up a stick to use as a weapon.
We could make them all wear handcuffs outside their houses. That might not work. They could strangle each other with the chains. Strait jackets! Why didn’t we think of this before? If all the commoners are confined to strait jackets… Darn! They could still kick and head butt each other. This whole public safety thing gets so complex!
Sorry about that, but it must be obvious to any thinking individual that human beings have been assaulting and killing each other for tens of thousands or millions of years without the benefit of firearms. Restricting the ability of honest people to defend themselves against criminals and tyrants makes about as much sense as hitting someone with a bag of Moon Pies. There! I said what I had to say, and I’m glad. Glad! Do you hear me? Glad! Bwa Ha Ha!
Def Mech